Faking It

So no one has a perfect house all the time right?  Pretty much never right?  Don't lie and say you do, Liar.

I know that there are some readers who probably keep an immaculate house but either 1. you have OCD or 2. you are a faker and you have a secret hiding spot for all your junk just like Monica had her closet full of crap in Friends.

Why do we stress ourselves out and pretend that we have a gorgeous house when we don't?  If you are immediate family, you've been over and have practically not been able to walk in my house because all of Keighan's stuff has been thrown, dumped, and forgotten about everywhere.  And if I do take my precious down time to clean it up, he'll just dump it back out.  So I sit and watch Honey Boo Boo instead.  Judge me.

Yesterday, we had an appraiser come to our house because we are refinancing.  I spent all day cleaning.  And by cleaning, I mean "cleaning".  Things were mostly put away but ya know, there may or may not (may, definitely may) have been things stuffed in cabinets, under the couch, pantries, closets, and other places that would later cause concern when we can't find those items... bills, money, Keighan's fave books, etc.  But my house looked darn good.  And still kind of does because I actually took care of some of the items I squirreled away.

Anyway, the guy came and he was super nice and just said he had to take some measurements and pictures.  PICTURES?!  Say whaaaat?  The stuff I didn't care to put away is going to be documented on paper?  No one told me this, I blame you Mom.  Just kidding... I guess ;)

But seriously, pictures.  Which you know, wouldn't be a bad thing because I "cleaned".  Except when I cleaned my room, I only cleaned my stuff because I can never tell if Jeff's stuff is clean, dirty, old, new, whatever.  So I told him when he came home for lunch did he want me to "clean" his stuff.  And he said no.  HE SAID NO.  So... I didn't.  So, somewhere out there there is a picture of my room that is super clean on one side and has mountains of clothes, books, and records on the otherside.  Embarrassed.

Not only that.  I didn't know he had to go in to the garage.  Ohemmgee.  I threw out like three bags of trash into the garage before he got here so my house wouldn't for some reason stink.  One of those bags was from the kitchen, gross.  One of those bags were full of Keighan's disgusting diapers.  GROSS.  Aaaaand I put them on the steps going into the garage.  The guy had to step over them to get into the garage and smell the nastiness!!!  Mortifying.  And I can't stop laughing about how bad that is.

So, I don't even know why I fake it.  Spotlessly clean is not me.  Obviously.  And I tried to trick a stranger into thinking I was.  Man, did that backfire.